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« beach blanket bingo | Main | faking it »


At this point, my list is:

1.) Two X chromosomes.
2.) Must be breathing.

Although my mom despairs of me ever finding someone, she is simply *thrilled* to know I am not into necrophilia.

Hah! That reminds me of a scene in "Singles," where Bridget Fonda's character gives her male best friend a rundown of her criteria for a guy. It's extensive, and he exclaims, "Wow... tall order."
She nods. "Yeah. I've scaled it back a bit."
"What is it now?"
"Someone who says 'Gesundheit' when I sneeze. But I prefer 'Bless you.' It's nicer."

Perhaps the best romantic advice I ever received came from one of my guy friends who was going through a painful divorce. He urged me never to settle; he had settled, choosing to marry someone he felt was "good enough," because "it seemed like the time to get married," and deeply regretted the compromise.

We all have this basic human need for companionship via that special someone; some of us are lucky enough to find that "perfect fit", at least once in our lives. But occasionally people get so focused on being with someone, ANYONE, that they forget that it's far more important to be with the RIGHT person. For the record, my friend finally met his Perfect Woman a year and a half later; they're still together. So there's hope!

I agree with your friend, one should not 'settle' for less than the perfect partner - else one has limited oneself and forsaken perfection for a little companionship.
As to what perfection is:

Well as with beauty, fliting, and all else, it is all in the eye of the beholder, but a simple rule of thumb for a perfect partner for me would be:
One who makes you complete, one with who you no longer have a hankering or longing for something missing, one who you trust implicitly not only not to betray you, but also not to fail you when you need his/her support, one who you would willingly accept that support from (not reject or refuse), one who you would not be disappointed by or feel disappointed by when they do not reach some wholly irrelevant bechmark or preconceived notion.
Ultimately one you could open yourself up to with limits unbound, and one to who you could 'give' yourself to fully, no strings attached.

This last phrase hard to make build or construct in english, but give as in abandon yourself to, yes like letting him drive even if you are a better driver - and give yourself fully no strings attached, as in with commitment (for eternity?) but with no petty demands, such as some pathetic contactual obligation.

Do Dreams come true? Well having immersed myself in the reality of contemplating eternity, the life passing me by syndrome has long disappeared, the toung buck wanting to rush down the hill and grab as many young cows as are in the valley has long gone, the feeling of having all the time in the world and not needing anyone to share iy with unless it is the RIGHT ONE is prevalent & prevailing.

Not sure you wanted all that, but there's my tuppence worth anyway

From the 1990 movie "Trust" by Hal Hartley--which reminds me that it's been too long since I've seen anything with the thinking woman's sex symbol Martin Donovan in it...

Maria: Did you mean it? Would you marry me?
Matthew: Yes.
Maria: Why?
Matthew: Because I want to.
Maria: Not because you love me or anything like that, huh?
Matthew: I respect and admire you.
Maria: Isn't that love?
Matthew: No, that's respect and admiration. I think that's better than love.
Maria: How?
Matthew: When people are in love they do all sorts of crazy things. They get jealous, they lie, they cheat. They kill themselves. They kill each other.
Maria: It doesn't have to be that way.
Matthew: Maybe.
Maria: You'd be the father of a child you know isn't yours.
Matthew: Kids are kids, what does it matter?
Maria: Do you trust me?
Matthew: Do you trust me first?
Maria: I trust you.
Matthew: You sure?
Maria: Yes.
Matthew: Then marry me.
Maria: I'll marry you if you admit that respect, admiration, and trust equals love.
Matthew: OK. They equal love.

I realize that this is three months late (inconsistent electricity and internet makes RyH a very sad boy) but as the geek guy Jen mentioned in point number one (literally) that I want to go on the record as saying that this wasn't a clear cut case of me being a didactic Mr Know-It-All as Phil calls it. Or, as some have implied, wanting an intellectual mannequin upon whom I will dress according to my own desires.

I like women who are intelligent and challenging. Some of the sexiest women I've known are the ones who don't let me get away with intellectual cheating. I figure the right girl is a lot like a good sparring partner. The best ones are just as good as you are, if not a little bit better.

Besides, she started it! =) She was brought up a moral-religious argument and I feel that if you want to bring up that sort of thing, you should be ready to defend it. It wasn't my fault her argument was weak and internally inconsistent.

Which isn't to say Jen misrepresented me, because I'm terrible at picking up signals and it had to be pointed out to me that she was "receptive." I mean, she WAS attractive and if I had any idea of what might have been in store for me, maybe I would have backed off but then again, I'd like to think that my antennae would have gone up on their own if she were more challenging.

Wait. You said the beaches were cleaner. Then what's with the finger held up by the woman in the headband?

That was a really knowledgeable post. I often find that this topic is complicated to get your head round but you have summed it up really well. You reminded me of a guy I was reading the other day who was really good too.

To Blake:
"3. Given that light from a star was found to be 'bent' by the sun's gravity on its way to the earth, would what would then seem to be the more 'direct' path be shorter?"

Relatively speaking it would, unless of course there were no substratum, or there were an infinate number of solutions to 9 dimensional string theory.

LOL... awesome post... but, I think you forgot one...

#5 - Grow some... ahem... cahones!

Most dudes walking around kissing as much a!@ as possible thinking that's what women want.

Yeah, it's what they SAY they want, but it's not what they REALLY want.

Anyhoo... good post...

I love it!! I have to comment on the paragraph about body language (non-verbal awareness) because tis is SOOOO true. So many people, both men and women, are clueless when it comes to body language, and like 93% of all communication is non-verbal. To me, this says we have HORDES of people who are completely ignorant of the world around them. Its sad!!

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    Physics Cocktails

    • Heavy G
      The perfect pick-me-up when gravity gets you down.
      2 oz Tequila
      2 oz Triple sec
      2 oz Rose's sweetened lime juice
      7-Up or Sprite
      Mix tequila, triple sec and lime juice in a shaker and pour into a margarita glass. (Salted rim and ice are optional.) Top off with 7-Up/Sprite and let the weight of the world lift off your shoulders.
    • Listening to the Drums of Feynman
      The perfect nightcap after a long day struggling with QED equations.
      1 oz dark rum
      1/2 oz light rum
      1 oz Tia Maria
      2 oz light cream
      Crushed ice
      1/8 tsp ground nutmeg
      In a shaker half-filled with ice, combine the dark and light rum, Tia Maria, and cream. Shake well. Strain into an old fashioned glass almost filled with crushed ice. Dust with the nutmeg, and serve. Bongos optional.
    • Combustible Edison
      Electrify your friends with amazing pyrotechnics!
      2 oz brandy
      1 oz Campari
      1 oz fresh lemon juice
      Combine Campari and lemon juice in shaker filled with cracked ice. Shake and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Heat brandy in chafing dish, then ignite and pour into glass. Cocktail Go BOOM! Plus, Fire = Pretty!
    • Hiroshima Bomber
      Dr. Strangelove's drink of choice.
      3/4 Triple sec
      1/4 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
      2-3 drops Grenadine
      Fill shot glass 3/4 with Triple Sec. Layer Bailey's on top. Drop Grenadine in center of shot; it should billow up like a mushroom cloud. Remember to "duck and cover."
    • Mad Scientist
      Any mad scientist will tell you that flames make drinking more fun. What good is science if no one gets hurt?
      1 oz Midori melon liqueur
      1-1/2 oz sour mix
      1 splash soda water
      151 proof rum
      Mix melon liqueur, sour mix and soda water with ice in shaker. Shake and strain into martini glass. Top with rum and ignite. Try to take over the world.
    • Laser Beam
      Warning: may result in amplified stimulated emission.
      1 oz Southern Comfort
      1/2 oz Amaretto
      1/2 oz sloe gin
      1/2 oz vodka
      1/2 oz Triple sec
      7 oz orange juice
      Combine all liquor in a full glass of ice. Shake well. Garnish with orange and cherry. Serve to attractive target of choice.
    • Quantum Theory
      Guaranteed to collapse your wave function:
      3/4 oz Rum
      1/2 oz Strega
      1/4 oz Grand Marnier
      2 oz Pineapple juice
      Fill with Sweet and sour
      Pour rum, strega and Grand Marnier into a collins glass. Add pineapple and fill with sweet and sour. Sip until all the day's super-positioned states disappear.
    • The Black Hole
      So called because after one of these, you have already passed the event horizon of inebriation.
      1 oz. Kahlua
      1 oz. vodka
      .5 oz. Cointreau or Triple Sec
      .5 oz. dark rum
      .5 oz. Amaretto
      Pour into an old-fashioned glass over (scant) ice. Stir gently. Watch time slow.